Monday, January 17, 2011

What IS different?

Pin It When people comment on my weight loss, oftentimes the comments I receive start with "you must feel so much better!" or "you must have so much more energy!".  I have to be quite honest.  I take a teensy bit of offense to this.  I'm not saying this to make anyone feel bad or to stop people from commenting on my weight loss.  I guess I'm just making an observation and sharing my thoughts.  First of all, even when I was at my heaviest, I didn't find I had a lack of energy.  I didn't feel "bad" at all, quite frankly.  I felt normal...for the most part.

What how did I feel then?
  • I hated that I had to shop at plus size stores where selection was limited and really had no concept of buying regular size clothes
  • My size was clearly above-average compared to my friends and co-workers
  • Airplane seats were not comfortable
  • I avoided certain public situations because of my size
  • I dreaded getting on the scales at the doctors office - I actually refused - because I was embarrassed about the number
How do I feel now?
  • I can shop at regular stores (although I always hesitate and feel like an impostor when I walk through the doorways of the regular stores and I truly have no idea WHAT stores I should be going to!)
  • I am now at a size that, by North American standards is average....I'm actually almost OUT of that "average" size and into the next size down from that (2 pairs of pants I own say that I'm out of that size already!)
  • Airplane seats fit fine...they are still ridiculously small though, I'm just sayin'!
  • I am excited to get on the scales at my doctor's office to show her how I'm doing - she is very encouraging and proud of my progress
  • I am more confident
  • I can cross my legs BOTH ways
  • I LOVE vegetables - I never really minded them before, but now I CRAVE them....even some I hated as a kid like cauliflower :-)
  • I am proud of my accomplishments and not afraid to tell the world! (clearly, since I'm writing this blog!)
So I guess all this to say, no I don't have more energy and no I don't physically feel much better, but I think psychologically I feel better about myself.  I'm still the same person I always was, but I am more willing to let that person show through.

I truly hope I have not offended anyone.  I know that when people make those comments, they are truly making them out of the kindness of their hearts.  The one that really made me shake my head though was the lady who told me how much YOUNGER I looked when she looked at my pre-WW photo...I smiled...and then she said "you looked FIFTY-SEVEN before!!!", excuse me??  I was 33 when the photo was taken (see below)!!  That one hurt.  But again, she meant it as a compliment to me, I know this deep down - but what she didn't realize was that she was still talking about me.  I'm still me.  I may look different, but that's it!

Rant done. G'night folks.

me at my heaviest looking "57"

Me about 10 pounds ago


Shondi said...

57?! I laughed right out loud when I read that! Trust me - you never looked 57!

The Incredible Shrinking Woman said...

I have some of those exact feelings. I know people mean well, but sometimes it FEELS to me like they are saying "You were a big lazy slob before, but NOW you are a person of value."
I don't know that we can ever train people to say what we want (I'm trying, though with my husband and kids! LOL) but we need to know no matter what people think, they haven't lived a day in our shoes. They don't know what an emotional roller coaster you go on when you lose weight like this. Until they do, their comments don't count. (At least the comments you don't like. Fell free to count the ones you like. ;)

Tanya said...

Thanks Shondi and Charlie!!! I never thought I looked 57 either Shondi...sometimes when I think about her comment I laugh :-) Charlie, I like your idea of discounting the comments I don't like and counting the ones I do!

The Incredible Shrinking Woman said...

We have absolute authority to pick and choose who we listen too. ;) I'm FB messaging you a link. You will LOVE IT.