Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Free wedgies?

Pin It The following blog entry may contain mature subject matter, reader discretion is advised:

So I booked a massage therapy appointment for today.  My regular girl is on vacation, so I got her fill-in person.  First of all, I forgot about the appointment until I got to work today.  Not a big issue as the appointment was at lunchtime and in the building next door to where I work...BUT I didn't do my usual "pre work" - shave the legs, make sure I had pretty drawers on, you know the drill.  So I had not shaved my legs and I had my granny panties on...oh well, at least they were clean and presentable!! 

So this girl tells me she's going to leave me alone to get ready - she suggests I take everything off!  I said "um, excuse me, can I leave my panties on???", so she relented.  She said she was concerned about getting lotion on them!  Lotion 'em up I say, the panties stay on! 

Ok, I've had massages many, many times over the years and have seen several different therapists.  This girl finishes with my back and shoulders and then moves down to my legs.  Safe enough, right?  Um, until she decides to tuck my panties in the crack of my butt!!!!!  and then starts working on my buns...I have to confess dear friends, I've never had a massage on my butt before!  NOR have I ever been given a wedgie...especially on the massage table!  So I finally start to relax (as best you can when someone's elbow is in your cheek) and she starts asking me about some body part I've never heard of and have I had it worked on before...of course I had to admit I had no idea what it was, so she tells me in plain English that it's the front of my leg (and here I thought that was my thigh).  Something about my hips causing problems with my blah blah blah...so of course, I ask what a blah blah blah is and basically it's my tailbone.  I've been having trouble with my tailbone since my trip this summer, but keep putting off getting it looked at.  Soooo, now I'm lying on this table wondering if this wedgie-giver is going to flip me over and start working on my thighs...where does she think she's going to tuck the FRONT of my undies??  Thankfully we ran out of time, so I didn't have to find out :-) 

Worked out at the gym right after work - had to do penance for all the food I ate last night at our office carolling event...is there an undo button for food???  Earned myself a tidy 9 activity points...let's hope it helps, otherwise Friday morning's weigh in (a day early due to Christmas) will be sad, sad, sad.  I should have spent the entire day at the gym after what I ate last night...I was out of control I'm afraid :-(

3 comments:

Trisha said...

Love the title... this post had me laughing so much!! I am thankful for you that the time ran out!!! EEEEKK!! how weird!!! hopefully your normal girl will be back for your next massage. ;)

And.. good job at the gym!! I am sure your weigh in day will be just fine!

Tanya said...

hahaha, I'm thankful too! I shudder to think of what may have happened if we hadn't run out of time!

heidi said...

hilarious!!